Stepping into the role of thriving leadership can result in dramatic shifts in how you live and lead. More often, though, it’s about a setting a clear intention and making small, positive changes that accumulate over time.
The process for incorporating a new habit into your life and work isn’t magic, nor it is easy for most of us. One survey reports that, shockingly, only 9% of people stick to their New Year’s goals.
Here’s something I’m working on this year: Spending less time on my computer. I know less screen time will enormously benefit my wellbeing mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically, yet I must remind myself to do it. Not only is my job often computer-heavy, using the computer only when it’s essential is a new behavior—and, like all new habits, putting it into practice requires attention and effort.
Fortunately, the science behind habit formation offers valuable insights for turning that effort into greater ease. This practical guide will support you in creating and sustaining new habits that transform your vision of thriving leadership into a lasting reality.
A Brief Masterclass on the Science of Habits
Habits are formed by behaviors you repeatedly do, usually in a specific context. Take, for instance, flossing your teeth: If you’re like most people, you floss at the same time and place each day, only forgetting when you’re out of your typical circumstances or schedule, such as when you’re on holiday.
Our habits are so deeply woven into our identity that we often perform them on autopilot. In fact, research suggests we spend up to 50% of our waking hours operating this way, shifting unconsciously from one action to the next.
While some habits are constructive, others can be less helpful or even toxic, gradually wearing away at your ability to perform, learn, and be well. Like everyone else, you’re likely moving through this period of your life and work with a mixture of habit types.
Becoming aware of the habits that enable you to thrive is critical for your development and performance, as is shifting habits that are hindering you and adopting new habits altogether.
Forming a new habit generally follows a four-stage cycle:
Let’s bring this four-stage cycle to life with the habit change I’m working on: Reducing my time on the computer.
CUE
Like a siren’s call for me to start working, my computer is usually visible in the main living area of my home. So, to avoid this trigger (what’s known as a “cue”), I’ve started putting my computer away so that I don’t see it first thing. Someone else with the same goal to reduce their computer time might try a different cue, such as putting a sticky note on their screen reminding them to “do something else” or setting an alarm which alerts them to take a computer break.
People seeking the same behavior change are not necessarily triggered by the same cues.
CRAVING
What drives my craving to start typing? Great question! For me it’s the feeling of productivity that comes with being on my computer—the sense I’m getting something done, even though, if I’m honest, I might just be wasting time. This habit has developed over decades, reinforced by deeply ingrained neural, psychological, and motor pathways. For someone else, the craving to work on the computer might stem from avoiding something (like boredom or anxiety), seeking instant gratification (such as a quick hit of entertainment), or wanting to feel part of a community (through messaging, likes, or comments.)
The craving tied to a specific cue can vary from person to person, even if the behavior itself is the same.
RESPONSE
When a craving for productivity kicks in and my computer is within sight, I usually dive right in. But with my computer now hidden, I’m less inclined to reach for it. The upside? With less time on the computer, I’m more likely to engage in other activities that matter to me. I recently had a chance to test this shift. When one of my meetings was cancelled, my old habit would have been to fill that time with more computer work, thinking: “I’ll just clear out a few more emails!” Instead, I put the computer away and took a mind-clearing walk outside. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and because being outdoors is highly valuable to me, it turned out to be an easy and life-enhancing way to use my time.
A person’s response to a cue and a craving is shaped by how open they are to trying a new behavior, as well as how much friction occurs when they attempt it.
REWARD
The time I spent outside was a powerful reinforcement for stepping away from the computer—my mind, body, and spirit were refreshed! For me, the sense of rejuvenation I experienced made the behavior change worthwhile. A pleasant bonus, however, was that when I returned to the computer an hour later, I felt more focused, energized, and productive.
Rewards are deeply personal. What serves as a reward for one person’s behavior may differ greatly from another’s.
As you can see, forming a new habit isn’t just a psychological process. It activates a complex feedback loop, commonly known as the Habit Loop, involving deep brain structures while coordinating your nervous, endocrine, digestive, immune, musculoskeletal, and other systems across your physical and energetic being.
Every choice you make and every action you take even influences your wellbeing at an epigenetic level.
When you intentionally cultivate a new habit for thriving in life and work, you are leading a holistic transformation within yourself—a powerful act of personal leadership. And when this process happens within a group, such as team or family, everyone contributes to the transformation, amplifying the impact and creating a collective momentum toward growth and success.
How Can You Make This Habit Loop Work for You?
Adopting a new habit demands significant energy, requiring a system of engagement and support. Yet, past theories of change over-indexed on willpower as the key to making a new habit stick. Today, we know willpower isn’t enough; in fact, willpower is a finite resource that can become depleted over time. (Think about the decision fatigue that sets in by mid-afternoon, a big contrast to the clarity and energy you feel in the morning.)
Building a positive habit requires a supportive ecosystem. Keep these principles in mind to make your desired behavior more obvious, effortless, and sustainable.
- Start small. Smaller adjustments—what we refer to as “micro-practices”—can build up over time to create a positive momentum. Break down your desired behavior into a simple action that takes 2 minutes or less. For instance, to kick off a new exercise routine, it might be as simple as putting on workout clothes or doing one pushup. That’s the first step—you’re officially on your way! The key is to pay attention to how these actions make you feel as you engage in them. That reflective act helps you tap into the “reward”, reinforcing the habit and fueling further motivation.
- Anchor to existing routines. This technique, often called “piggy-backing” or “habit-stacking”, involves linking a new desired behavior to something you already do without fail. By pairing it with a well-established habit, you create a powerful trigger for action. For example: “Right after I pour my morning coffee, I’ll write down one thing I’m grateful for.” This connection makes it easier to follow through, turning your new habit into a natural extension of your daily routine.
- Repeat, track & celebrate. Establish a straightforward system to consistently monitor your progress—whether it’s a simple checklist or a habit-tracking app. The key is not to obsess over perfection, judge yourself harshly, or let the tracking consume you; instead, let it serve as a tool to reinforce repetition, making the behavior a seamless part of thriving in your life and leadership. The real power lies in acknowledging every small win. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how minor, in a positive feedback loop that strengthens your commitment to demonstrate habits that enable you to thrive in your life and leadership.
- Seek support for accountability. Surround yourself with people who encourage and hold you accountable as you work towards your behavior change. Whether it’s a friend, colleague, or mentor, having someone to check in with can help keep you motivated, provide valuable feedback, and make the process feel less isolating. Support not only reinforces your commitment but also creates a sense of shared purpose, making it easier to stay on track and navigate challenges that are a natural part of building a new habit.
- Anticipate obstacles with a mindset of learning and growth. Recognize that challenges, such as time constraints, environmental distractions, waning motivation, or internal resistance, are bound to crop up as you focus your attention and energy on establishing a new habit. Viewing these obstacles as opportunities for personal insight and growth, rather than setbacks, allows you to approach them with curiosity and resilience. By identifying potential barriers in advance, you can develop adaptive strategies—such as setting clear priorities, adjusting your approach, or leaning into people who support your change—to stay on track. This proactive mindset helps you learn from each challenge, increasing your chances of sustained success.
- Pause before acting. Taking a moment to pause helps you regulate stress, conserve energy, and tap into a richer cognitive capacity for making a habit change. For example, pausing before reacting to a craving or a trigger, gives you space to regain emotional balance, strengthen your willpower, and sharpen your focus. This simple act of pausing makes it easier for you to resist old habits, stay on track with new behaviors, and better recognize cues that support the new habits you want to demonstrate.
- Embrace identity shifts. Behavior change often requires a shift in how you see yourself. You’re not just adopting new actions; you’re becoming the type of person who consistently practices these behaviors. Over time, these habits can reshape your identity as a leader who not only thrives, but also seeks ways to cultivate the capacity to thrive in teams, your organization—wherever you lead. Aligning your actions with your evolving identity strengthens your commitment and makes the new habits feel like a natural extension of who you are.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, elevating your leadership and life by cultivating your capacity to thrive is a journey. Small changes, executed daily, can lead to remarkable long-term results in your leadership and wellbeing.
For over 25 years, we’ve partnered with forward-thinking leaders and organizations—from Google and Nike to Hyatt and The Coca-Cola Company—to transform how they lead and work. Our comprehensive approach combines science-based assessments that reveal your unique thriving profile, educational experiences that deepen your understanding and practice, culture change resources that help you scale thriving across your organization, and strategic advisory services that integrate thriving into your leadership strategy. Contact us to explore how we can support your leadership, team, or culture.
